


The Randy Dowager Quarterly

by danceswithhamsters01



Series: Reddit Prompts [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen, Sevarra Amell - Freeform, Zevran - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 10:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16217540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithhamsters01/pseuds/danceswithhamsters01
Summary: Based on a prompt from r/dragonage!A bit of "interesting" reading material falls out of Amell's bag. Alistair investigates.





	The Randy Dowager Quarterly

_**Prompt 4** : Write someone reading an excerpt from the Randy Dowager Quarterly story inspired by the Inquisition_

 

 

The book fell out of her bag with an unceremonious "thunk!"

 

"What's _that?_ " Alistair asked, still holding the repaired amulet he'd been given moments before.

 

"What's what?" the petite mage asked innocently.

 

"That book, it fell out of your bag."

 

She looked at it and her cheeks turned crimson. "I have no idea what you're talking about. That is certainly not mine."

 

He bent down to retrieve the thin and heavily dog-eared tome before reading the name aloud. "Randy Dowager Quarterly. What sort of a title is that?"

 

"Oh, ah, heh. I think I see Leliana, er, waving to me. I better see what she needs!" Sevarra stammered before making her escape.

 

"That was... odd. She'd never leave a book laying out in the elements like that. Shall we see what this is, boy?" Alistair said to the mabari that lazily dozed nearby. The war hound did not respond.

 

Finding a comfortable patch of dirt to sit upon, the Grey Warden examined the cover. Below the main title were the words "Best of 9:9 Dragon Collection." Shrugging, he turned to the first of what he assumed were chapters in the book. "Plunder and Booty" was written in large, calligraphic letters.

 

_"Her bosoms heaved like a ship caught in turbulent seas as she ran along the beach; first to the port and then to the starboard."_

 

"Do.. do they really move like that?" he asked the mabari. "I don't know, I've never been on a ship before."

 

He skipped ahead several pages.

 

"What's this business with swords and portholes? This is confusing."

 

"Do you really wish to know, my good Grey Warden?" a rich Antivan accent purred.

 

Alistair looked up in a panic. He hadn't realized Zevran had been listening in on his commentary.

 

"Er, I guess so?"

 

Zevran leaned down and whispered into the Warden's ear. By the time the elf had concluded his elucidation, Alistair had turned redder than ripe strawberries.

 

"MAKER'S BREATH! I.. need to go away now. And get some soap. To wash my mind."


End file.
